“When faced with the question of what you want for dinner, you might find yourself saying, ‘I’ll eat anything.’ Perhaps you’re the easygoing friend who always goes along with what others want, or maybe you would rather avoid confrontation at work and go along with a coworker’s ideas. These behaviors may seem harmless, but understanding the term ‘echoism’ can offer valuable insights for managing them.
Echoists, also known as people who experience echoism, are exactly what their name suggests. According to Jamie Genatt, a psychotherapist, echoists tend to mimic or reflect the feelings, opinions, or desires of others, rather than expressing their own thoughts and emotions. They have a hard time asserting their needs and differences, struggling to receive praise or attention, and find it challenging to establish boundaries or have opinions that might offend others.
While echoism seems to be the opposite of narcissism, it is actually rooted in fear. Whitney McSparran, a licensed professional clinical counselor, explains that echoists fear being or appearing narcissistic, and as a result, they leave no room for themselves in their own lives. It’s important to note that echoism is not a diagnosed mental disorder but rather a spectrum of personality traits.
The term ‘echoism’ was coined by clinical psychologist Craig Malkin, who drew inspiration from the myth of Narcissus and Echo. In the myth, Echo, who eventually falls in love with Narcissus, is cursed to repeat the last few words she hears. Like their namesake, echoists struggle to have a voice of their own. While echoists may be drawn to narcissistic individuals in real life, their echoistic traits can exist outside of these relationships as well.
Here are ten signs of echoism:
1. Avoiding attention and preferring to stay in the background.
2. Mirroring others’ emotions and preferences to avoid drawing attention to themselves.
3. Fearfully avoiding conflict or displeasing others.
4. Having low self-esteem and feeling inferior.
5. Difficulty accepting praise or attention.
6. Having few or no preferences and struggling to express their wants.
7. Preferring to take up as little space as possible and avoiding asserting themselves.
8. Experiencing rejection sensitivity and being afraid of rejection.
9. Unhealthy levels of empathy, leading to chronic stress and difficulties in setting boundaries.
10. Fear of abandonment and avoiding conflict at all costs.
The causes of echoism can be rooted in upbringing and parental influence. According to Genatt, individuals who were raised in environments where compliance and prioritizing others were emphasized may develop echoistic traits. Additionally, McSparran suggests that having echoist caregivers who modeled this behavior can also contribute to the development of echoism.
One specific example of a childhood environment that can contribute to echoism is ‘eggshell parenting.’ This term refers to an environment where children feel like they have to walk on eggshells to avoid conflict and further hurt. In these situations, minimizing oneself becomes a coping mechanism to avoid confrontation.
Overall, recognizing and understanding echoism can be beneficial in managing these behaviors. While echoism is not a clinical diagnosis, it is a spectrum of personality traits that can impact an individual’s well-being and relationships. By becoming aware of these traits, individuals can begin to assert their needs, set boundaries, and prioritize their own well-being.”
